We Need To Talk About Lil Uzi’s Diamond

Stop. Before you even say anything, I’m not here to tell you that rapper Lil Uzi has a $24 million diamond in his head. We already know this, what I’m saying is we need to talk about it. The diamond in Lil Uzi’s head is not perfectly centered.

From the moment I saw the first pictures of Lil Uzi and the diamond, I knew something was wrong. I went into Photoshop, drew a perfectly straight line up and down from the base of the diamond down to the edge of the picture and you can clearly see it is not centered in his head. Even if you account for him turning his head and being on a slight angle, it’s still not completely straight.

Now I don’t know about you, but if I pay $24 million for a diamond in my head I’m busting out all the rulers in the world to make that thing completely level and centered right in the center of my head. I already hear you, one picture isn’t enough to make a claim like that. Fear not faithful reader, I have a second picture for precisely that reason. *BLOOD WARNING. IF YOU ARE SQUEAMISH OR DO NOT WELL AT THE SIGHT OF BLOOD YOU MAY WANT TO CLICK AWAY NOW*

If you weren’t convinced by the first picture, this one should be all the convincing you could ever need. Uzi is looking directly at the camera and from the base of the diamond going straight down it favors the right side of his nose. In a perfect world it would cleanly bisect his face and go right down the center of his nose, I guess we don’t live in a perfect world.

I’m not knocking Lil Uzi, that was never my intention. I just need to know who was doing that procedure and said “Yeah this looks good, nobody will notice.” We noticed buddy, or at least I did.