Pokémon We Could Beat Up #15
This is Pokémon We Could Beat Up #15
This is a bi-weekly column from Chris and I where we go through the National Pokédex and talk about whether we could beat each Pokémon in a fight.
076-80
076. Golem
Height: 4’07”
Weight: 661.4 lbs.
CHRIS: 670 pounds….uh oh. This is just physically impossible for me to win. What can I even try to do?
STEVE: “Its body is so hard that even dynamite cannot scratch it.” This may be true, but Golem has never felt a Steve punch. Just kidding. L.
077. Ponyta
Height: 3’03”
Weight: 66.1 lbs.
CHRIS: I just imagine myself getting bucked in the chin. I was going to say I would try to jump on her back, but that wouldn’t work either. Another L.
STEVE: I’ve seen YouTube videos of people getting folded after being kicked by a horse. I don’t want to be the next YouTube sensation. The fire doesn’t help my case either. L.
078. Rapidash
Height: 5’07”
Weight: 209.4 lbs.
CHRIS: That’s a beefy horse. Uhhh. What do I even try. That heat just seems insane. I just imagine Rapidash running 150 mph straight into me. I blow up. GG.
STEVE: “Rapidash is a very agile Pokémon. It runs at about 150 mph (240 km/h), chasing everything that moves in hopes of racing it.” 150 mph??? Am I reading this correctly? This is just a Ponyta but bigger and beefier, I’m not having a good week. L.
079. Slowpoke
Height: 3’11”
Weight: 79.4 lbs.
CHRIS: I think he’s so cute. He is so lazy so this is easy. I don’t even know what animal he is based upon? Either way W.
STEVE: Yes! I needed a win today. This is the Pokémon equivalent of a sloth so we are not worried about a Slowpoke. W.
080. Slowbro
Height: 5’03”
Weight: 173.1 lbs.
OUTCAST ISLAND 