Pokémon We Could Beat Up #19

This is Pokémon We Could Beat Up #19

This is a bi-weekly column from Chris and I where we go through the National Pokédex and talk about whether we could beat each Pokémon in a fight.

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096-100

096. Drowzee

Height: 3’03”

Weight: 71.4 lbs.

Drowzee

CHRIS: lmao Bill Cosby. I’m not losing to this little mole elephant either.

STEVE: I’m not going to let myself lose to Bill Cosby Jr. here. Even if Drowzee successfully puts me to sleep, I would eventually wake up and apart from that Drowzee has no defense mechanisms. W.

097. Hypno

Height: 5’03”

Weight: 166.7 lbs.

Hypno

CHRIS: He is the most humanoid Pokémon other than Mr. Mime. Hypno would have a bigger nose competition with Steve.

STEVE: Drowzee and Hypno both eat dreams but what is that going to do to me? As far as physical matchups go I have Hypno beat. W.

098. Krabby

Height: 1’04”

Weight: 14.3 lbs.

Krabby

CHRIS: Looks like dinner to me.

STEVE: This is a crab. W.

099. Kingler

Height: 4’03”

Weight: 132.3 lbs.

Kingler

CHRIS: Could be a nice dinner….if it doesn’t crunch me in half. I’ll take a loss.

STEVE: I can confidently handle a giant crab, but when that crab is 4 foot tall I’m changing my tone. The pinch of a small crab would hurt enough, just imagine what this thing would do to you. L.

100. Voltorb

Height: 1’08”

Weight: 22.9 lbs.

Voltorb

CHRIS: I don’t know what this is. A big fake pokeball? I think if he was to explode I would simply kick it away like a kick ball so it doesn’t hurt me.

STEVE: I know it’s small and doesn’t seem very dangerous but if you as much as touch a Voltorb it explodes. I don’t think I can survive an explosion, no matter the size. L.

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STANDINGS

CHRIS: 4-1. Back on the win list. Onto next week.

STEVE: 53-37 as of last week. 3-2 today puts me at 55-39. My losses are slowly catching up to my wins, it’s only a matter of time before my record falls into the negative.

New fights every Monday and Friday 5:00 PM EST. Gotta beat em’ all.